And so I cried...

I keep saying there's nothing worse than this or that but today, I feel pretty bad! Not physically, although I am numb but mentally. Multiple Sclerosis is nothing to be played with and I've been diagnosed with it. Pretty scary because I'm immediately thinking of the worst case scenario. I won't know anything for sure until I see the Neurologist but it's still a pretty 'scary' thought. I thought I could handle being at work today but when I got there, the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to cry. So I shut my office door. My family knows the diagnosis. My close friends know. My coworkers know. Now it's just the wait game.

Today, my manager knocked on my office door, came in and asked if he could give me a hug?! He made me cry. I made him cry. He told me to stay strong and stay in my faith. And that "IT" picked the wrong one. And we're going to get through this. they've got my back.  My dad liked that because he said he was just about to send me a "virtual hug" but God sent one of his angels! My auntie said "Natasha's going to be alright. It's Gods way of getting someone else's attention"While it didn't make me stop crying, it was another reassurance that I've got a support group like no other and yes we ARE going to get through this. But I'm still going to cry LOL.

My family and friends sent me lots of information to get ready for my appointment: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/multiple-sclerosis/basics/preparing-for-your-appointment/con-20026689 because I honestly don't know what questions to ask. What I KNOW about Multiple Scleoris, in it's simplest form is, "In multiple sclerosis, damage to the myelin in the central nervous system (CNS) — and to the nerve fibers themselves — interferes with the transmission of nerve signals between the brain and spinal cord and other parts of the body." To most people that would mean just that. To me, it means A LOT more. In 2011 I was diagnosed with Bells Palsy as most of you know. If you don't know, you can check out my blog here. So now my mind is racing because I'm trying to figure out if and how all of this is related. Not to mention, guess who's had a history of migraines? *points to self* this girl!

But that's enough about that because mentally, I don't want to think about it anymore. My doctor's appointment has been scheduled for next Tuesday.